This guy can’t pass a reflective surface–including cutlery–without checking himself out. A camera in the room? He clenches his jaw so much you wonder if he’s had a stroke. On a trip to the gym, you realise with horror that he’s been shaved, waxed, and plucked to the point of utter hairlessness from the eyebrows down.

Like everything else, his watch is style over substance. 24 Karat on the surface, sure, but a lousy Quartz battery inside.