As you probably already know, in the world of luxury, it’s considered poor form to come right out and talk about price. It’s borderline vulgar and tantamount to a four letter word.

At H. Moser, we create luxury watches.

They take our artisans hundreds of hours to craft, involve enormous amounts of research, and are constructed from the finest materials. We’re not gonna lie, the price tag may shock. In stores, our Pioneer model, ever smart and stylish, is going to set you back about 11,000 euros.

But what does 11 thousand bucks even get you today anyway?

1.59 Bitcoins. Yup: not even 2. At least that’s the case as I’m writing this. Who knows? In the next five minutes, the crypto-currency market could undergo hyperinflation, see massive sell-offs, frantic buying, and maybe even make you a whole nickel in profit at the end of the day.

A seven minute set with international superstar DJ David Guetta. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

A meter squared of floorspace in London’s Notting Hill. Perfect for entertaining.

1572 packs of cigarettes. If you’re a pack a day smoker, that’ll have you covered for the next four years. You can thank me later.

A scratched up, second-hand hatchback. Thanks but I’d rather take Uber and impatiently await the driver’s arrival with the Pioneer on my wrist.

An acre of land just outside of Baghdad. Come to think of it, that tiny square of carpet in Notting Hill is actually looking quite good right now.

11,000 euros might not even cover one tenth of a speeding ticket in certain parts of Scandinavia where fines are proportionate to an individual’s income and can quickly balloon out of control. Next time you’ll think twice about going 15mph over when you’re a well-to-do executive at Nokia living in Helsinki. Trust me.

A two minute speech by Barack Obama. I’d make a Trump joke but honestly it just makes me depressed.

A jet ski. With a Pioneer on instead you won’t be pissing off everyone at the beach but you’ll be getting looks and not just to know the time of the day. That’d be because of the hollandaise sauce still lingering on the corner of your mouth from this morning’s brunch which is really just an excuse to get buzzed on champagne and Bloody Marys before noon.

Three weeks at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Has anyone ever returned alive and well from a three week vacation in Vegas? A weekend on the Strip is dangerous enough, but after three weeks, chances are near certain that you’ll wind up married to a member of the Blue Man Group.

The price of a hair transplant. After six months you’ll look like an Elephant Man chia pet crossbred with Sonic the Hedgehog. If all goes well, in a year you’ll just look like a schmuck. And you can count on your friends to let you know it too. Buy a Pioneer and you won’t have to fool anyone.