For the past 3 years, he’s only eaten raw meat and weird superfood powders procured on the Darkweb.
This guy can’t pass a reflective surface–including cutlery–without checking himself out.
He despises commercial brands. And loves anything niche you’ve never heard off.
You may have written a sappy Father’s Day card in June, but it’s August now.
When you realise you’re in an abusive relationship… with your tech.
That guy with a nose for disaster. And a platinum credit card.
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
What if he looks at the watch like it’s a bowler hat or monocle? The equivalent of ye olde calligraphy by candlelight with some unwieldy feathered plume.
Let’s be honest: when brands are trying to pump up their luxe-y credentials, there’s nothing better than a long-dead founder. Wikipedia page wordier than a history book? Oh, they’re coming after your money. Make sure you’re prepared.
Let’s be honest, he shouldn’t take your visit so seriously anyway. You have a five hour gap between your flights. Somehow, though, this guy is still giving you the full technical lowdown on six different watches. Twenty minutes you’ve been here. It feels like a lifetime. You’re looking to buy a watch, not a satellite.
Let’s be honest: it wasn’t your grandad’s watch. In fact, it came from a kiosk in a suburban mall your grandad wouldn’t be caught dead in.
Don’t have the means or inclination to buy yourself a luxury timepiece? Never mind, there are infinite opportunities to get one as a gift.
Come on, let's be honest.
Luxurious, but not exactly restful.
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The luxury industry doesn’t tend to go in for humor. We, however, do. If you like beautiful things and you’ve remained a lucid human being, first of all, congratulations. Second of all, welcome home. Welcome to Pioneer Chronicles.